Pick a job and apply to join the team then submit a wacky performance review and get featured on a future episode. All freaks who submit a photo will be featured on the Meet the Team page.
JOB-0067
REHIRINGKeeps tyres inflated, confident, and emotionally resilient. Conducts pressure check-ins, motivational briefings, and post-wobble reassurance sessions. Tracks performance indicators like squeak frequency and tread anxiety. Intervenes when a tyre starts 'going flat for attention' or when wheels form a workplace grievance circle.
Salary:$42k + mystery bonus envelope
Reports to:Inflatable Systems Chief
JOB-0064
REHIRINGVerifies stamps are crisp, legitimate, and emotionally satisfying. Audits ink quality, investigates counterfeit stamp rings, and confiscates suspiciously perfect impressions. Maintains the Official Stamp Ledger and may declare a stamp invalid if it lacks sufficient drama. Known for detecting fraud purely by vibes and wrist flick.
Salary:$20 bucks + eternal glory
Reports to:Footwear Program Owner
JOB-0063
AVAILABLEPrevents honk-based conflict and balloon escalation between clown factions. Mediates disputes, drafts peace accords, and enforces the Neutral Nose Zone. Coordinates apology exchanges, manages shared prop treaties, and intervenes when passive-aggressive juggling turns into open squeak warfare.
Salary:$100k + front-row chaos
Reports to:Operations Ringmaster
JOB-0062
AVAILABLEResponds to sparkle outbreaks with clipboard urgency. Logs incidents, establishes quarantine zones, and coordinates decontamination of costumes, paperwork, and souls. Traces shimmer trails to their source and issues citations for unauthorised twinkle. Maintains the Glitter Register (Levels 1'5) and refuses to touch anything 'still glittery.'
Salary:$50k + unlimited popcorn
Reports to:Soundstage Ring Captain
JOB-0061
AVAILABLECalculates swing trajectories, audits mid-air decisions, and writes reports for every 'we'll just see.' Flags reckless optimism, models momentum, and recommends adjustments performers ignore until proven right. Maintains the Approved Arc Catalogue and can ground a stunt if the maths says 'absolutely not' (it often does).
Salary:$60k + one emergency kazoo
Reports to:VP of Audience Feelings
JOB-0060
REHIRINGIdentifies ropes with bad intentions and quarantines them before they form knots out of spite. Oversees rope behaviour assessments, coil storage discipline, and knot rehabilitation. Investigates incidents involving 'sudden tightening,' 'aggressive loop formation,' or ropes that seem to remember your mistakes. Authorised to confiscate any rope giving off villain energy.
Salary:$88k + backstage snack stipend
Reports to:Inflatable Systems Chief
JOB-0059
AVAILABLETracks rogue whistlers, issues formal cautions, and maintains the Official Whistle Register (Volumes I'XIII). Investigates whistle motives, confiscates suspicious tunes, and enforces designated Whistling Hours. Escalates repeat offenders to the Tribunal of 'Stop That Immediately,' chaired by someone who has heard too much.
Salary:$88k + backstage snack stipend
Reports to:Safety Marshal of Wheels
JOB-0058
AVAILABLEReviews cannon launches for moral compliance, trajectory decency, and the acceptable angle of regret. Signs off on consent forms, landing-zone dignity, and 'is this actually necessary' assessments. Provides ethical guidance when the cannon feels eager and prepares contingency statements for any unintended garden, roof, or neighbouring county landings.
Salary:$42k + mystery bonus envelope
Reports to:Snack Infrastructure Lead
JOB-0056
AVAILABLECatalogues foretold disasters, cross-references omens, and stamps prophecies as ACTIONABLE or IGNORE (LOL). Maintains secure storage for cursed paperwork and time-sensitive warnings that arrived late. Produces weekly summaries for management, who file them under 'Interesting' and proceed with the exact thing the prophecy warned about.
Salary:Peanuts (literal) + applause
Reports to:Chief Wonder Officer
JOB-0055
AVAILABLEEnforces the three-metre No Vibes Exclusion Zone around tightropes. Issues penalties for emotional leaning, unauthorised encouragement, and staring too hard. Monitors wind, footwear squeak levels, and audience 'helpful' commentary. Has authority to remove anyone attempting 'just a quick step' for a photo, including senior management.
Salary:$20 bucks + eternal glory
Reports to:Mobility Governance Chief
JOB-0054
AVAILABLESchedules screaming into approved time slots and reroutes unauthorised screams to the Whisper Corridor. Maintains the Scream Calendar, monitors volume compliance, and files incident forms for spontaneous shrieks. Provides calming memos during high-stress periods that are immediately ignored in favour of louder screaming.
Salary:$100k + front-row chaos
Reports to:Soundstage Ring Captain
JOB-0053
AVAILABLEVerifies stew meets minimum standards of warmth, viscosity, and plausible origin'without asking forbidden questions. Conducts ladle sampling, audits 'ingredient transparency,' and stamps batches FIT FOR CONSUMPTION or BEST NOT. Investigates rumours of sentient carrots and keeps an emergency bread policy for morale stabilisation.
Salary:$50k + unlimited popcorn
Reports to:Chief Wonder Officer
JOB-0052
AVAILABLEMaintains diplomatic relations with lions and enforces border agreements between 'lion space' and 'people who want to keep their arms.' Drafts territorial accords, negotiates nap rights, and discourages staff from making eye contact as a joke. Files incident notes when a lion provides feedback using teeth or judgement.
Salary:$60k + one emergency kazoo
Reports to:Audience Engagement Manager
JOB-0051
AVAILABLEEnsures every document exists in triplicate, quadruplicate, and the secret fifth copy for auditing. Maintains copier morale, resolves staple shortages, and investigates vanishing originals. Responsible for making the bureaucracy feel inevitable'even when the request was 'where's the mop' and the mop is right there.
Salary:$88k + backstage snack stipend
Reports to:Historical Compliance Director
JOB-0050
AVAILABLECertifies ladders as 'probably fine,' investigates wobble allegations, and quietly retires ladders with dark auras. Conducts rung interviews, observes ladder posture, and issues stability ratings from TRUSTWORTHY to ABSOLUTELY NOT. Maintains a confidential list of ladders that have looked at people wrong.
Salary:$42k + mystery bonus envelope
Reports to:High Wire Program Lead
JOB-0049
AVAILABLEMonitors unexplained drafts, issues Wind Incident Reports, and escalates any breeze that feels intentional. Investigates cold neck events, interviews curtains for alibis, and deploys ribbons to visualise air conspiracies. Responsible for declaring whether the wind is simply weather'or a targeted administrative harassment campaign.
Salary:$42k + mystery bonus envelope
Reports to:High Wire Program Lead
JOB-0048
AVAILABLESecures fair terms for lions: premium cuts, nap quotas, and zero surprise hoops. Drafts claw-friendly paperwork, negotiates roar rates, and enforces the Respect Clause. Handles disputes involving snack delivery breaches and interprets 'contractual purring.' Works closely with HR to ensure no one promises a lion anything they can't chew.
Salary:$404 + health & dental (forms lost, benefits not found)
Reports to:Soundstage Ring Captain
JOB-0047
AVAILABLEForecasts airborne chalk density, drift patterns, and visibility risk across aerial zones. Issues advisories like LOW HAZE, CONCERNING FOG, and FULL BLIZZARD. Models ventilation needs, recommends breathing strategies, and files reports explaining why the tent briefly resembled a haunted bakery.
Salary:$42k + mystery bonus envelope
Reports to:Soundstage Ring Captain
JOB-0046
AVAILABLECurates calliope melodies that are festive, nostalgic, and mildly unsettling. Audits tunes for summoning potential and bans notes known to trigger unnecessary memories. Maintains the 'Too Spooky for Matinees' playlist and negotiates with spirits who keep requesting the same cursed waltz on repeat.
Salary:$75k + confetti allowance
Reports to:Snack Infrastructure Lead
JOB-0044
AVAILABLETimes silences to the millisecond for maximum menace and gravitas. Coordinates breath holds, eyebrow lifts, and audience dread levels. Prevents awkward gaps with emergency 'meaningful nods.' Keeps a Pause Ledger and can extend a pause until the crowd breaks'provided the ringmaster doesn't blink first.
Salary:$20 bucks + eternal glory
Reports to:Operations Ringmaster
JOB-0043
AVAILABLEBalances awe and clapping to hit the night's thrill quota. Tunes reaction timing, prevents premature standing ovations, and stabilises the Gasp-to-Clap Ratio. Deploys subtle cues when needed, then files a report proving the response was entirely organic and not engineered by a person with a clipboard.
Salary:$100k + front-row chaos
Reports to:Audience Engagement Manager
JOB-0042
AVAILABLEPre-writes apology letters for wherever the human cannonball lands. Maintains templates for gardens, roofs, weddings, and minor international incidents. Coordinates tone, gift baskets, and 'we meant well' phrasing. Updates the Landing Probability Map and keeps a spare pen for new jurisdictions and surprised mayors.
Salary:$50k + unlimited popcorn
Reports to:Director of Large Logistics
JOB-0041
AVAILABLEAssesses acceptable wobble, prices stilt-based ambition, and denies claims caused by 'dramatic dismounts' or 'confidence beyond policy limits.' Conducts on-site Wobble Audits, reviews gravity incidents, and issues coverage with suspiciously specific exclusions. Required to remain calm while someone explains they 'weren't even doing anything,' from very high up.
Salary:$60k + one emergency kazoo
Reports to:Mobility Governance Chief
JOB-0039
REHIRINGFirst responder for rope crises. Negotiates peace between tangled ropes and stressed humans. Documents knots, loops, and emotional sabotage, then applies approved techniques (gentle persuasion, stern staring, ceremonial shaking). Escalates complex tangles to senior staff when the rope begins tying itself faster than you can apologise.
Salary:$88k + backstage snack stipend
Reports to:Culture and Mascot Affairs
JOB-0038
AVAILABLEMonitors the sideshow tent for sudden climate mood swings. Records cold spots, heat surges, and 'air that feels judgemental' in triplicate. Stamps anomalies as NATURAL, SUPERNATURAL, or 'PROBABLY THE KETTLE.' Submits reports to Atmospheric Compliance, where they will be filed and whispered about forever.
Salary:$88k + backstage snack stipend
Reports to:Information Ring Controller
JOB-0037
AVAILABLEPredicts overnight dew on ladders, ropes, platforms, and any surface pretending to be safe. Issues dawn bulletins like MILD SLICKNESS, CONCERNING SHEEN, and FULL SLITHER CONDITIONS. Tracks humidity sabotage, recommends towel deployment, and is legally permitted one (1) 'told you so' per incident.
Salary:$42k + mystery bonus envelope
Reports to:Soundstage Ring Captain
JOB-0036
AVAILABLEPrevents marshmallow overproduction from breaching containment and forming a single horrifying mass. Oversees bagging protocols, perimeter controls, and the Marshmallow Incident Log. Monitors for clustering, pillow formation, and marshmallows attempting governance. Must remain emotionally detached, even when a marshmallow looks like it's trying its best.
Salary:$75k + confetti allowance
Reports to:Operations Ringmaster
JOB-0035
AVAILABLEMaintains a confidential registry of missing keychains, including last known sightings, suspected pocketing, and emotional impact statements. Conducts midnight audits of sofa cracks and coat linings. Produces monthly 'Who Still Has It' reports distributed silently and with judgement. May interrogate you politely, then stare.
Salary:Peanuts (literal) + applause
Reports to:Emergency Sparkle Response
JOB-0033
AVAILABLEInspects safety nets and logs every hole by size, location, and personality. Assigns classifications like MINOR BETRAYAL, CONCERNING VOID, and THAT'S A DECISION. Submits repair recommendations that will be ignored until the last possible moment. Keeps photographic evidence for the inevitable post-show question: 'Who checked this?'
Salary:$20 bucks + eternal glory
Reports to:Chief Ring Communications
JOB-0032
AVAILABLEReviews clown apologies for acceptable sincerity levels. Rejects unauthorised sobbing, manipulative vulnerability, and honks used as punctuation. Issues revised templates and enforces remorse limits per incident. Monitors repeat offenders for weaponised earnestness and can mandate a cooler, more bureaucratic apology to protect public wellbeing.
Salary:$100k + front-row chaos
Reports to:Snack Infrastructure Lead
JOB-0028
AVAILABLETests squeaky toys for approved decibel levels and psychological impact. Runs controlled squeak trials, assigns ratings from POLITE CHIRP to VENGEFUL ALARM, and confiscates any toy that squeaks like a threat. Maintains certification records in case a toy appeals its score and demands a second squeak.
Salary:$42k + mystery bonus envelope
Reports to:Chief Ring Communications
JOB-0027
AVAILABLEEnforces safe and stylish altitude standards across all stilt activity. Measures height, monitors swagger, and issues citations for reckless elevation. Maintains the Approved Stilt Range and conducts surprise step audits. Confiscates stilts exceeding the maximum legal amount of confidence per metre and makes you sign an apology.
Salary:$42k + mystery bonus envelope
Reports to:Mobility Governance Chief
JOB-0026
AVAILABLEProtects executive hats from theft, sabotage, and unexplained dimension hopping. Runs hat inventory audits, investigates feather tampering, and monitors suspicious headwear traffic. Oversees the Secure Hat Vault and files incident reports when a top hat vanishes mid-bow'especially if it returns smelling like smoke and arrogance.
Salary:$404 + health & dental (forms lost, benefits not found)
Reports to:Apparel Risk Officer
JOB-0025
AVAILABLECoordinates peanut flow for elephants, staff, and high-stakes snack diplomacy. Prevents crunch bottlenecks, manages emergency reserves, and optimises routes to avoid stampede-prone corridors. Maintains the Peanut Ledger and executes rapid redeployments during 'unexpected parade hunger.' Responsible for ensuring no peanut is left behind, emotionally or physically.
Salary:$42k + mystery bonus envelope
Reports to:Nutritional Distribution Lead
JOB-0024
AVAILABLEBoosts clapping ethically via cues, gestures, and motivational eye contact. Monitors applause fatigue, discourages ironic clapping, and escalates audience apathy to senior staff. Tracks Hand Utilisation Metrics and deploys emergency whooping only in approved zones. Must remain upbeat even when the crowd is clinically unimpressed.
Salary:$75k + confetti allowance
Reports to:Audience Engagement Manager
JOB-0023
AVAILABLEScales balloon output with minimal squeak debt. Manages inventory, inflation schedules, and emergency replacements for popped morale. Maintains the Approved Animal Catalogue and investigates balloon misrepresentation (e.g., 'dog' that is clearly an anxious worm). Responsible for keeping balloon creatures cute, stable, and only mildly haunted.
Salary:Peanuts (literal) + applause
Reports to:Inflatable Systems Chief
JOB-0022
AVAILABLELeads containment for Level-4 sparkle events. Establishes perimeters, assigns decontamination teams, and initiates emergency vacuum protocols. Tracks shimmer migration across tents and timelines. Issues official briefings like 'Situation contained' while everyone watches glitter achieve the impossible: self-replication through pure spite.
Salary:$20 bucks + eternal glory
Reports to:Emergency Sparkle Response
JOB-0021
AVAILABLETranslates wind mood into rope strategy. Reads gusts like gossip and issues advisories such as FLIRTY BREEZE, SPITEFUL CROSSWIND, and 'NOT TODAY.' Recommends posture adjustments, timing changes, and emotional grounding. Documents every time someone says 'it's fine,' moments before it absolutely isn't.
Salary:$100k + front-row chaos
Reports to:High Wire Program Lead
JOB-0020
AVAILABLERoutes rumours through approved channels to prevent uncontrolled gossip sprawl. Assigns Whisper Priority Levels, stamps intel as VERIFIED, SUSPECT, or 'DEFINITELY A LIE BUT FUN,' and quarantines sensitive whispers pending review. Responsible for making sure the right people panic, in the correct order, with proper paperwork.
Salary:$50k + unlimited popcorn
Reports to:Information Ring Controller
JOB-0019
AVAILABLEPreserves ticket stubs for future legends, audits, and dramatic flashbacks. Catalogues by date, seat, and emotional intensity. Maintains climate-controlled drawers and investigates missing stubs that 'walk off.' May declare a stub historically significant if it bears suspicious handwriting, popcorn stains, or destiny-adjacent creases.
Salary:$60k + one emergency kazoo
Reports to:Historical Compliance Director
JOB-0018
AVAILABLETunes spotlight warmth, sharpness, and protagonist energy per performance. Prevents accidental humiliation lighting and resolves disputes when multiple performers attempt main-character status simultaneously. Maintains Beam Profiles, runs calibration rituals, and can downgrade any beam that feels 'too judgemental' or 'weirdly intimate.'
Salary:$88k + backstage snack stipend
Reports to:Visual Spectacle Manager
JOB-0017
AVAILABLEResolves mascot disagreements through interpretive dance and formal mediation. Drafts mascot treaties, negotiates territory (photo zones), and prevents costume-based misunderstandings. Handles incidents involving aggressive waving and unauthorised high-fives. Ensures mascots remain friendly, coherent, and only moderately unsettling to small children and adults.
Salary:$88k + backstage snack stipend
Reports to:Culture and Mascot Affairs
JOB-0016
AVAILABLEBalances sugar distribution across snack nodes to prevent collapse, shortages, or spontaneous stickiness. Forecasts demand spikes, manages floss density, and monitors humidity sabotage. Maintains the Sugar Flow Chart and triggers emergency rebalances when one stand becomes too popular and starts attracting bees with intent.
Salary:$42k + mystery bonus envelope
Reports to:Snack Infrastructure Lead
JOB-0015
AVAILABLEEngineers synchronised astonishment using timing, lighting, and strategic surprise placement. Monitors Gasp Cadence, prevents early gasp burnout, and ensures the big moments land with maximum lungs. Deploys subtle cues when necessary, then files a report proving the reaction was natural and not socially engineered by a professional.
Salary:$75k + confetti allowance
Reports to:Chief Wonder Officer
JOB-0014
AVAILABLEVerifies launch prep checklists, bravery levels, and cannon temperament. Signs off on angle settings, fuse enthusiasm, and the performer's 'last-minute doubts.' Maintains a Readiness Score and can halt a launch if confidence drops below acceptable thresholds'or if the cannon makes that 'eager' noise again.
Salary:Peanuts (literal) + applause
Reports to:Aerial Systems Manager
JOB-0013
AVAILABLEDelivers drumrolls at legally dramatic intervals. Tracks suspense build, prevents premature cymbal crashes, and coordinates with dramatic pauses. Maintains the Drumroll Registry and can extend a roll until the audience breaks'provided wrists remain operational and the drummer still believes in the concept of climax.
Salary:$20 bucks + eternal glory
Reports to:Soundstage Ring Captain
JOB-0012
AVAILABLEDesigns a scalable system for oversized footwear with strict left/right integrity. Tracks stock, sizes, squeak levels, and mystery shoes that appear unclaimed. Prevents mismatched pairs, monitors shoe nesting behaviour, and audits any shoe suspected of containing contraband, regret, or smaller shoes (again).
Salary:$100k + front-row chaos
Reports to:Footwear Program Owner
JOB-0011
AVAILABLEMaps parade routes avoiding puddles, narrow doors, and existential dread hotspots. Coordinates timing, snack stations, and crowd flow. Maintains contingency plans for unexpected trumpet diplomacy and ensures elephants arrive majestic, not muddy, and definitely not in the gift shop unless scheduled.
Salary:$50k + unlimited popcorn
Reports to:Director of Large Logistics
JOB-0010
AVAILABLESources hoops with optimal flame-to-fear ratios. Vets suppliers, audits hoop integrity, and ensures flames behave within contractual limits. Maintains the Burn Register, monitors fuel mood, and rejects hoops that look 'too excited.' Responsible for securing equipment that says spectacle, not incident report.
Salary:$60k + one emergency kazoo
Reports to:Pyro Procurement Manager
JOB-0009
AVAILABLEDeploys morale boosts in polka-critical moments. Curates tunes for maximum cheer and minimum dread, conducts surprise serenades, and monitors staff mood levels. Initiates emergency accordion interventions when energy drops below 'mildly hopeful.' Maintains Happiness Metrics that are suspiciously optimistic and legally non-binding.
Salary:$88k + backstage snack stipend
Reports to:VP of Audience Feelings
JOB-0008
AVAILABLEEnsures poles remain upright, structurally sound, and emotionally resilient. Conducts stress tests, checks for leaning tendencies, and addresses 'pole vibes' that suggest collapse. Maintains the Pole Integrity Log and issues citations for unauthorised wobble. Has authority to stare at a pole until it behaves.
Salary:$42k + mystery bonus envelope
Reports to:Infrastructure Ring Lead
JOB-0007
AVAILABLEFacilitates cross-functional silence between departments. Translates gestures into actionable requests, mediates invisible-box disputes, and enforces 'no speaking within mime operational zones.' Maintains the Silence Schedule, issues formal reprimands for accidental words, and ensures mimes receive the respect they will never verbally demand.
Salary:$42k + mystery bonus envelope
Reports to:Head of Quiet Affairs
JOB-0006
AVAILABLETranslates dropped objects into actionable performance metrics. Builds dashboards for catches, fumbles, and dramatic saves. Runs post-drop retrospectives, sets quarterly targets for 'Objects Not On Floor,' and insists the juggle pipeline needs optimisation, not vibes. Has never juggled, but has strong opinions about the numbers.
Salary:$88k + backstage snack stipend
Reports to:Chief Performance Optimist
JOB-0005
AVAILABLECertifies one-wheel readiness during peak panic. Tests balance integrity, monitors wobble tolerance, and approves unicycles for deployment. Maintains the Stability Scorecard and grounds any unicycle exhibiting rebellious drift, sudden squeak, or the clear impression it is attempting to embarrass someone in public.
Salary:$404 + health & dental (forms lost, benefits not found)
Reports to:Safety Marshal of Wheels
JOB-0004
AVAILABLEPredicts confetti drift using fan choreography, humidity readings, and reckless optimism. Issues advisories like LEFTWARD GLITTER SURGE and CEILING STICK EVENT. Models fallout patterns, recommends containment strategies, and conducts post-show analysis proving the confetti went 'exactly as planned,' statistically, despite reality disagreeing loudly.
Salary:$42k + mystery bonus envelope
Reports to:Operations Ringmaster
JOB-0003
AVAILABLERecords roars as compliant meeting minutes. Translates growls into action items, assigns owners to snarls, and circulates follow-ups. Maintains the Roar Log and marks issues 'resolved' once the lion stops staring like it knows your address. Responsible for ensuring all feedback is acknowledged, even when it's a threat.
Salary:$75k + confetti allowance
Reports to:Director of Cat Relations
JOB-0002
AVAILABLESchedules aerial stunts around weather, moon phases, and mild superstition. Prevents double-bookings, manages chalk supply lead times, and issues reminders like 'DO NOT ATTEMPT HEROICS TODAY.' Maintains the Official Flight Calendar and negotiates with performers who insist they're free whenever destiny calls.
Salary:Peanuts (literal) + applause
Reports to:Chief Acrobatical Officer
JOB-0001
AVAILABLETaste-tests popcorn batches for structural crunch, salt morale, and emotional support value. Flags burnt kernels, stale sadness, and suspicious chewiness. Maintains the Crunch Index, approves seasoning ratios, and signs off on popcorn that meets Circus standards: satisfying, dramatic, and capable of silencing a crowd with one crunch.
Salary:$20 bucks + eternal glory
Reports to:Head of Snack Logistics